Reflection at the end of the year is one of my most cherished activities. It sends me into a blissful state of thanksgiving to think of all the grace I have experienced over the past three hundred and sixty-five days.
2009 began in Seattle at the Round where I had the opportunity to meet Shannon Stephens. The room was packed, I had new songs and was feeling excited about being honored with an invitation to the Seattle Round. A lot of my music career in the past two years has revolved around Seattle. Playing inspiring shows, watching incredible bands, and recording music with Kory Kruckenberg and his cast of musical friends. So many people in Seattle have encouraged me. This year has not been an exception.
In the midst of playing shows in early ‘09 I was toiling over what do to with the album that Kory and I had finished at the end of 2008. Tim Walsh had mastered all the tracks, I picked a name and even prepared the artwork to the point of satisfaction. Now what? So many people were telling me completely opposite things. Try to shop it!…Self-release, you will be better off…Be patient. Hold on to it, that’s just how things work in the record industry these days. Well, not only was I not sure of who to listen to, I’m also stubborn and impatient. I didn’t know how to shop a record and didn’t have anyone that knew how and wanted to help me shop it. So, I did what I’ve always known how to do. Do it yourself.
This decision making process was not easy and went on for a while. So, while I was deciding I kept playing shows. Kaylee Cole and I did a really awesome weekend tour in the northwest in February. Singing along to Wolf Parade and Nick Jaina at the top of our lungs! Near after that I put together a northwest tour for Power und Beauty. Lets just say, our band name sums up pretty much everything we have ever done.
For my new album, the decision was made, the artwork sent off, release venue booked and the money borrowed to manufacture the albums. Still not sure if I made the right choice with how I released the album, but I don’t necessarily regret it. The release show in April was held at the Bing Crosby Theater, my favorite venue in Spokane. There was over 250 people there, the biggest show I’ve headlined. It was magical and special and wonderful. I felt so blessed and supported and loved by my friends and musical community here in Spokane. I’m not sure how to recaptured the feeling I felt at that show. I felt so sure of myself and what I was doing.
Following the release I was excited to have quite a few blogs and press clips reviewing the album. I had put together a band to tour (Caleb, Henry Nordstrom and Vaughn Wood) and promote the release in April. I won’t go too far into that tour. It was not magic. I did not feel confident in myself and have spent a lot of time since then trying to recuperate from some of the soul damage I have experienced from that tour. But if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that expectations can kill you and even when you are feeling good about music, you can feel really horrible about the business of music…which can then turn into feeling bad about the music itself.
Looking back I realize that I became a bit more cynical and disillusioned after that tour. I posted a blog on May 18th called “Making it Work” that I read with new eyes today. I’ve realized so much this year and been letting myself heal from some of the self-inflicted wounds. Being a Musician is such an emotionally complicated road with so many unknowns and so much heartbreak. But, like my dear friend Carmen commented on that blog I posted in May, there’s nothing like live music. And there’s nothing like sharing what you have created straight from your heart to any number of people.
On through May I played some shows in California on my way to my friend Karlee’s wedding and played a really great full band show at Neumo’s and then a really nice solo show at the new Mississippi Studios. I did another wonderful west side tour with Kaylee Cole on her first full band tour at the beginning of June.
In July I had an amazing treat to tour around the northwest with my boyfriend/drummers brother Scott Ryan and his band from LA. They are phenomenal musicians and we had a great time playing all different kinds of venues. Highlights were House of Paine with Tony Kevin and the insane Downtown Crossing in Sandpoint.
I spent some time with family in Colorado later in July and got a second chance to play in Denver after having the snowstorm incident in April. Coming home I got to play with Joel Smith at his album release show in Spokane which was not only a momentous occasion for him but for me as well. Joel and I have spent so much time together playing music, it was so exciting for me to what him do something he has worked so hard to complete.
September was a break. I’m not even sure what I did that month.
October I traveled to the East Coast and had musical culture shock. My dear friend Kimber Ludiker hosted me on a month-long bluegrass bootcamp experience where I was immersed in all different kinds of traditional music. It was a fantastic experience and I was proud to check New York and Boston off my list of great cities I have played.
November feels like it was just yesterday. Another release show for the Followed EP and another two week tour with a band. This time with 0 expectations. We were blessed with great shows and great friends and a lot of fun. I’m still not sure if it was the change of expectations that made things better or the actual facts of the tour. Either way, it was a great tour.
December has seen the farewell of one of my favorite venue locations in Spokane (Empyrean), the fourth Christmas show with Caroline Fowler and a really fun new experience in the Tri-cities with the Home for Christmas event with Monte Ingersoll.
And here we are on December 29th. Roughly 65 shows I have performed this year in 9 states, 3 releases, one new accordion, a new loop pedal, a fancy pedal board made by my multi-talented brother and my trusty vintage Kay going strong on our second year together. Today we are heading out in a few minutes to end this year of great experiences in Seattle with Noah Gundersen and his band the Courage at the Triple Door. What a way to end things and get geared up for 2010.
Thank you to everyone for all of your grace and support this year. Thanks to my family and close friends for putting up with my emotional swings with music and thank you to everyone who has connected with my songs. You are the reason I play!
